
Deception and Dysfunction, Part 2
2 Samuel 13:23-39
Darrin Mariott, Lead Pastor
Big Idea: Sin has consequences, but, in Christ, we can find hope and a path forward to healing and forgiveness.
2 Samuel 13:23-39
23 After two full years Absalom had sheepshearers at Baal-hazor, which is near Ephraim, and Absalom invited all the king’s sons.24 And Absalom came to the king and said, “Behold, your servant has sheepshearers. Please let the king and his servants go with your servant.”25 But the king said to Absalom, “No, my son, let us not all go, lest we be burdensome to you.” He pressed him, but he would not go but gave him his blessing.26 Then Absalom said, “If not, please let my brother Amnon go with us.” And the king said to him, “Why should he go with you?”27 But Absalom pressed him until he let Amnon and all the king’s sons go with him.28 Then Absalom commanded his servants, “Mark when Amnon’s heart is merry with wine, and when I say to you, ‘Strike Amnon,’ then kill him. Do not fear; have I not commanded you? Be courageous and be valiant.”29 So the servants of Absalom did to Amnon as Absalom had commanded. Then all the king’s sons arose, and each mounted his mule and fled.30 While they were on the way, news came to David, “Absalom has struck down all the king’s sons, and not one of them is left.”31 Then the king arose and tore his garments and lay on the earth. And all his servants who were standing by tore their garments.32 But Jonadab the son of Shimeah, David’s brother, said, “Let not my lord suppose that they have killed all the young men, the king’s sons, for Amnon alone is dead. For by the command of Absalom this has been determined from the day he violated his sister Tamar.33 Now therefore let not my lord the king so take it to heart as to suppose that all the king’s sons are dead, for Amnon alone is dead.”34 But Absalom fled. And the young man who kept the watch lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, many people were coming from the road behind him by the side of the mountain.35 And Jonadab said to the king, “Behold, the king’s sons have come; as your servant said, so it has come about.”36 And as soon as he had finished speaking, behold, the king’s sons came and lifted up their voice and wept. And the king also and all his servants wept very bitterly.37 But Absalom fled and went to Talmai the son of Ammihud, king of Geshur. And David mourned for his son day after day.38 So Absalom fled and went to Geshur, and was there three years.39 And the spirit of the king longed to go out to Absalom, because he was comforted about Amnon, since he was dead.
I. The Power of Example (vv. 23-39)
A. For two years Absalom has plotted and schemed to kill his brother, Amnon, in part to avenge the rape of his sister, Tamar, but also to further his own political ambitions. Both Amnon and Absalom are behaving in line with the example their father, David, has set in his sin of adultery with Bathsheba and the murder of Uriah the Hittite.
B. We see David’s example lived out in:
1. Amnon’s rape of his half-sister, Tamar (cf. 1 Sam. 13:14).
1 Samuel 13:14
14 But now your kingdom shall not continue. The LORD has sought out a man after his own heart, and the LORD has commanded him to be prince over his people, because you have not kept what the LORD commanded you.”
2. Absalom’s conspiracy to kill Amnon (vv. 26-29).
3. Absalom having others commit his crime (v. 28).
C. There is tremendous power and responsibility in example (cf. 1 Cor. 11:1; Phil. 3:17). David is a man of God’s own heart, but at times, he left a poor example for his children. This need not discourage us, however, as we know that God can redeem our failures and use them for His purposes (cf. Rom. 8:28).
1 Corinthians 11:1
1 Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.
Philippians 3:17
17 Brothers, join in imitating me, and keep your eyes on those who walk according to the example you have in us.
Romans 8:28
28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
II. The Problem with Vengeance (vv. 27-29)
A. Absalom had his vengeance, but it came at a high cost to him and his family. Revenge never really satisfies the hurt we carry within us, and it only causes more problems than it solves. This is one reason God has instructed us not to take revenge.
B. We see regarding vengeance:
1. Vengeance is rooted in punishment.
2. Vengeance is God’s prerogative (cf. Deut. 32:35; 1 Sam. 24:12; Rom. 12:18-21).
Deuteronomy 32:35
35 Vengeance is mine, and recompense, for the time when their foot shall slip; for the day of their calamity is at hand, and their doom comes swiftly.’
1 Samuel 24:12
12 May the LORD judge between me and you, may the LORD avenge me against you, but my hand shall not be against you.
Romans 12:18-21
18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”20 To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
3. Only God truly knows the heart of people.
4. We are to trust God and emulate Messiah Jesus (cf. Lev. 19:18; Rom. 12:14-17).
Leviticus 19:18
18 You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the LORD.
Romans 12:14-17
14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them.15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight.17 Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all.
C. God has called us to forgive others (cf. Eph. 4:32). If we are not careful, we can let bitterness consume us. But when we take our hurts to God and trust in His healing forgiveness, then we can experience a peace and joy that surpasses all understanding.
Ephesians 4:32
32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.