-Have you ever been a little miffed, disappointed with what you got for Christmas because you saw what someone else got? Tell us about that.

-What is that? What would we call that?

-Everybody tell of a time when you were jealous of someone else.

-How does Jealousy make you feel towards the person you are jealous of?

-We come up with reasons why we’re disadvantaged so we feel better about ourselves

Well, if I had a brain like that, I’d be rich too.
If I worked at a company like theirs I’d be promoted too!
If my mom and dad bought my car, I’d have a nice one too.

-Or worse, we start maligning their character to make ourselves feel better

They’re rich, but they don’t care about people
She’s probably bulimic - that’s how she maintains that figure.
He’s just a kiss up or she probably slept her way to top: come on now be honest.

-The reality is, we start to not even like those people because for some reason in our mind they have something that I think I deserve.

-What is it that you are really upset about? What is it that you really want?

-In our minds we can’t figure out why they have it and I don’t. It’s not fair! Have you ever said that? The reality is that what we want isn’t fair. Fair isn’t cool. If the world was fair you and I would probably have a lot less! What we want isn’t fair, we just want MORE!

-Who are we Mad at? Who is responsible for the imbalance?

-If this is true, when Jealousy is aroused within us, who is it that we are really mad at? Ultimately is it not God?

What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you? You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it. —James 4:1-2

-What does this passage seem to say? What causes fights among us? Where do those desires come from? Who is ultimately responsible? Where should our attention be?

-The reason we know that others aren’t our problem is because there is nothing they can do to solve our problem. The only thing you can do to fix my problem is lose something. If you lose or fail or suffer a set-back, I feel better! “Oh, he crashed his brand new car, his parents paid for, YES!!” “Did you see her in her swimsuit, I think she put on a few pounds since last summer, YES”. How sick is that? That’s not a problem with you, that is a problem with me!

-With Jealousy, we perceive a relational deficit and think that God owes me! Just so you know, that thought leads to nothing positive.

A peaceful heart leads to a healthy body; jealousy is like cancer in the bones. —Proverbs 14:30

-How have you found this passage to be true?

-So what do we do about it?

-Step 1 in overcoming Jealousy: Admit you have it: My problem isn’t with people, it’s with God

-Step 2: Pour out your discontent to God!

-Step 3: Celebrate

-A heart of gratitude will fix your attitude