Modern Love
Week One


Dave Stephens
April 16, 2023

Big Idea of the Series:
This series aims to help us find or preserve loving, God-honoring relationships, especially in our twenty-first-century world. We will look at Scripture’s timeless and practical wisdom to help us do that.

As we look for love or desire to preserve the love we have…it can be easy to lose sight of what love truly is in our modern world. In a society that values materialism (you’re an object), instant gratification (I use for my desires), and self-centeredness (the way I feel is most important), it can be challenging to remember that true love is selfless, patient, and kind (1 Corinthians 13:4).

(some of this not only applies to romantic relationships…it will apply to all relationships)

Worldly Thoughts on Love

Rosemary Donahue - Allure magazine contributor…Love is: “shared T-shirts, playlists, and appetizers.”

Tag Line for an article on love: (Magazine) “Hallmark, Hollywood, and Nashville have all tried to define love, but the reality is that we each have our own definition of this shape-shifting concept.”

“We all have our own definitions of love.” John Kim of Psychology Today

From these definitions, and many others I found…it appears that WE get to decide what love is…your definition might be better for you…but my definition is good for me…my love and your love look different and feel different…but we get to say. OR…it’s a shape-shifting concept…which means it’s constantly changing.

• Sounds weird, doesn’t it? If love is love, shouldn’t it be the same no matter what? Is it ambiguous? Subjective, maybe…OR…is there a standard?

Our culture portrays love as a feeling…love can be found through a swipe on a dating app or a chance encounter on the street. Could true love be much more profound than a mere fleeting emotion? Could actual love be different than what we observe or what is taught?

• If there is a standard…Where do we find the standard? Is there a love guideline?

Love originated somewhere…right? We didn’t invent it…it was created for us…by God. Are we big enough (intelligent, capable) to create love? (And the emotions or feelings surrounding it)

Illustration: Create something and make up a name for it…
We must understand: If we didn’t create love, we can’t define it!!
Here’s the good news: We can find the answer…Not only did God create it, but he defined it!

So the scriptures show the example…and then defines it.

EXAMPLE: Ephesians 5:2 “…walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” (RSV)

DEFINITION: 1 Corinthians 13:4–8a (ESV) “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth.”

The example of true love isn’t just in words written on a page…Jesus laid down His life for us, showing us the ultimate example of selflessness and sacrifice. In response to this, we should imitate His love by laying down our lives for others (1 John 3:16).

Here’s what we see when we look to IMITATE Jesus.

1st Thought: Love is

Reveal Answer

, Not Just Emotion

Scripture: 1 John 3:18 “Let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.”

Explanation: In our culture, love is often portrayed as a feeling or emotion, but true love is not just a feeling, it is an action. We must actively choose to love others.

Here are some practical ways that we can do this:

1. Reveal Answer
   : Look for opportunities to serve your spouse, (BF, GF). Help them accomplish things they want to do. Do things together. (Example Dalina and I) Serving is a tangible way to show genuine, God-proof love in action.

2. Reveal Answer
   their needs: When we love someone, it should be natural to put their needs above ours. Could be: listening to them, helping them when needed, and being there…even when it’s inconvenient or uncomfortable.

3. Reveal Answer
   : means - Cost us something for their benefit. Christ showed us the ultimate example of sacrificial love when He gave His life for us on the cross. While we may not be called to give our lives for others, we can show sacrificial love by being willing to give up our time, resources, or comfort for the sake of someone else.

4. Speak the truth in

   Reveal Answer
   : Sometimes, loving someone means telling them the truth, even if it’s complicated. (Anyone have complications to their relationships?) However, we must always do this in love and with a desire to build them up, rather than tear them down. (Sometimes it’s not done in love…right tone, the right demeanor, etc)
   

2nd Thought: Love is

Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

Christ’s sacrifice on the cross demonstrates God’s unconditional love for us. We must strive to love others similarly, despite their flaws and mistakes. Loving unconditionally means not

or

Reveal Answer

.

Showing unconditional love means loving without conditions, regardless of the circumstances.

Here are some ways we can show unconditional love:

1. Practice

   Reveal Answer
   : When someone wrongs us, our natural response may be to hold a grudge or distance ourselves from that person. However, God calls us to forgive others, just as He has forgiven us (Colossians 3:13). When we choose to forgive, we show unconditional love and extend grace to those who have hurt us.

2. Avoid

   Reveal Answer
   : We should avoid criticizing or judging others based on their actions or circumstances. We do not know what that person is going through, and God calls us to love our neighbors as ourselves (Matthew 22:39).

3. Show

   Reveal Answer
   : In Matthew 9:36, Jesus was described as having compassion on the crowds because they were like sheep without a shepherd. We, too, can show compassion to those who are hurting or in need, extending kindness and understanding to them.

4. Be

   Reveal Answer
   : Unconditional love requires patience, even when someone’s behavior is frustrating or difficult to deal with. We must remember that love is patient (1 Corinthians 13:4), and continue to show love through our actions and attitudes, even when it’s hard.
   

3rd Thought: Our Love Should be a

of God’s Love for Us

Scripture: John 15:12 “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.”

Think about the way you love your Husband/Wife/Friend

• Would you say that it’s Christ like? Does it have these qualities? Forgiveness, compassion, patience…or are you holding one of these back? From something that happened years ago…or do you keep score…

When we love others selflessly, sacrificially, and unconditionally, we reflect God’s love to those around us.
As we live out this kind of love, we become a living testimony of Christ’s love to a world that desperately needs to see REAL LOVE.

Conclusion: In a world that often values surface-level connections and personal gain, we must strive to love others as Christ loved us. This means putting love into action, loving unconditionally, and striving to reflect God’s love in all that we do. May we all seek to embody Christ-like love in our relationships and interactions with others.

Other Scripture References

1 John 4:7-8 (NIV) - “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.”

1 Peter 4:8 (NIV) - “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”

By drawing upon these scriptures, you can convey the idea that your love for each other should reflect God’s love, which is unconditional, sacrificial, and enduring.