Hardship + Relationship = Resilience
Rev. Mark Foster
Part of Resilient—Finding Strength in the Chaos
June 4, 2023

Then Peter, filled with the Holy Spirit, said to them, “Rulers of the people and elders, if we are being questioned today because of a good deed done to someone who was sick and are being asked how this man has been healed, let it be known to all of you, and to all the people of Israel, that this man is standing before you in good health by the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, whom you crucified, whom God raised from the dead. This Jesus is

‘the stone that was rejected by you, the builders; it has become the cornerstone.’

“There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among mortals by which we must be saved.”

Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John and realized that they were uneducated and ordinary men, they were amazed and recognized them as companions of Jesus. —Acts 4:8-13 (NRSV)

“Our world desperately needs you to become a person of peace in an age of outrage.” —John Ortberg

Week 1

Being loved by Jesus is a gift; following Jesus is a

.

The goal is to become ready for God to use us to

resistance and despair into hope.

“With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope.” —Martin Luther King Jr.

Week 2

It takes a clear

to ground us and a strong resistance to us.

The good news of Jesus is that we are loved

we have accomplished anything.

Week 3

“Blessed are the flexible for they shall not be bent out of shape.” —A2 Beatitude

We want God to make us

and strong.

“Resilience is not about becoming smarter or tougher; it’s about becoming stronger and more flexible. It’s about becoming tempered.” —Dr. Tod Bolsinger

Self-reflection that leads to self-awareness makes us

.

Honest and courageous self-awareness leads to feeling

.

“I want to experience your vulnerability but I don’t want to be vulnerable. Vulnerability is courage in you and inadequacy in me.” —Brené Brown

If the first critical element for resilience is vulnerable self-reflection, then the second is solid, safe

.

This Week: Hardship + Relationship = Resilience

“The goal is not to break down or break through resistance but to

it… to transform discord into ‘brotherhood.’” —Tod Bolsinger

We can have hard conversations when we know that we

the people across the table are loved and valued by the other.

The

is to look good and respectable, like we have it all together.

Never do ministry

; always in twos: nursery, children, youth, helping strangers, visiting the sick. (Mark 6:7, Matthew 10:1-4)

“To lead alone is reckless and arrogant; it is foolish and dangerous to both self and others.” —Tod Bolsinger

The more responsibility we have, the more accountability and

relationships we need. (Luke 9:28-31)

Three Important Types of Relationship

“The front stage is where performance happens. The backstage is the place to support and nurture great front-stage performances. And the off-stage is a place to step away from performance roles and engage other parts of life.” —Matt Bloom, Professor of Business and Management, University of Notre Dame

Front Stage: We need teammates,

, and coworkers who share the responsibility and struggle with us. (Acts 4:1-4, 7-10a)

We need trustworthy

alongside us where we can all be our authentic selves and enjoy a common goal.

“The primary way to prepare for the unknown is to attend to the quality of our relationships, to how well we know and trust one another…” —Margaret Wheatley

Backstage: We need

, mentors, and coaches who help us be better when we step on the front stage.

Good front-stage work depends on a lot of time backstage preparing and

the work that is being done.

The Bible is full of wise elders, teachers, and

: Jethro to Moses, Barnabas to Paul, and Paul to Timothy.

Offstage: We need friends and family members who care more about

we are than we do.

The more

support you can draw upon from family and friends, the more resilient you can be in stressful situations.

Spiritual directors, psychological therapists, and support groups can create a powerful sanctuary of

.

Action Steps

Who is one person who

you or “hoped for you” when you were down or hopeless?

If they are still alive, say, “

” to them.

Schedule a backstage

with a mentor, spiritual director, or coach.

Call a

and let them know how much you appreciate their love and support in your life.

My additional notes:

.