Dealing With Trauma

Main Point: Every person has to deal with trauma. Through Jesus, we can heal from trauma.

Trigger warning: Content may be disturbing or upsetting.

Trauma comes in many forms:

Child abuse - Intimate partner abuse - Sexual assault - War - Human trafficking - Natural disaster - Community violence / school violence - Societal trauma / oppression - Medical trauma - Traumatic grief and loss - Religious abuse

How to help yourself

How to help others

How to receive God’s help and healing

Grounding / emotional regulation strategies

(Source: Rev. Dr. Thema Bryant Davis)

Breath meditation

Five senses

Self-compassion holds

Life is not a “trauma contest.”

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved childrenand walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. —Ephesians 4:32-5:2

Tamar’s trauma:

1-4 Absalom, David’s son, had a sister who was very attractive. Her name was Tamar. Amnon, also David’s son, was in love with her. Amnon was obsessed with his sister Tamar to the point of making himself sick over her. She was a virgin, so he couldn’t see how he could get his hands on her. Amnon had a good friend, Jonadab, who was exceptionally streetwise. He asked Amnon, “Why are you moping around like this, day after day – you, the son of the king!” “In a word, Tamar,” said Amnon. “My brother Absalom’s sister. I’m in love with her.” 5 “Here’s what you do,” said Jonadab. “Go to bed and pretend you’re sick. When your father comes to visit you, say, ‘Have my sister Tamar come and prepare some supper for me here where I can watch her and she can feed me.’” 8-9 So Tamar went to her brother Amnon’s house. She took dough, kneaded it, formed it into dumplings, and cooked them while he watched from his bed. But when she took the cooking pot and served him, he wouldn’t eat. 9-11 Amnon said, “Clear everyone out of the house,” and they all cleared out. Then he said to Tamar, “Bring the food into my bedroom, where we can eat in privacy.” She took the dumplings she had prepared and brought them to her brother Amnon in his bedroom. But when she got ready to feed him, he grabbed her and said, “Come to bed with me, sister!” 12-13 “No, brother!” she said, “Don’t hurt me! This kind of thing isn’t done in Israel! Don’t do this terrible thing! Where could I ever show my face? And you—you’ll be out on the street in disgrace. Oh, please! Speak to the king—he’ll let you marry me.” 14 But he wouldn’t listen. Being much stronger than she, he raped her. 15 No sooner had Amnon raped her than he hated her—an immense hatred. The hatred that he felt for her was greater than the love he’d had for her. “Get up,” he said, “and get out!” 16-18 “Oh no, brother,” she said. “Please! This is an even worse evil than what you just did to me!” But he wouldn’t listen to her. He called for his valet. “Get rid of this woman. Get her out of my sight! And lock the door after her.” The valet threw her out and locked the door behind her. 18-19 She was wearing a long-sleeved gown. (That’s how virgin princesses used to dress from early adolescence on.) Tamar poured ashes on her head, then she ripped the long-sleeved gown, held her head in her hands, and walked away, sobbing as she went. 20 Her brother Absalom said to her, “Has your brother Amnon had his way with you? Now, my dear sister, let’s keep it quiet – a family matter. He is, after all, your brother. Don’t take this so hard.” Tamar lived in her brother Absalom’s home, bitter and desolate. 21-22 King David heard the whole story and was enraged, but he didn’t discipline Amnon. David doted on him because he was his firstborn. Absalom quit speaking to Amnon—not a word, whether good or bad—because he hated him for violating his sister Tamar. —2 Samuel 13 (The Message)

“When you meet someone deep in grief”

Slip off your needs

and set them by the door.

Enter barefoot

this darkened chapel

hollowed by loss

hollowed by sorrow

its gray stone walls

and floor.

You, congregation

of one

are here to listen

not to sing.

Kneel in the back pew.

Make no sound,

let the candles

speak. —Patricia McKernon Runkle

The eyes of the Lord watch over those who do right; his ears are open to their cries for help. 16 But the Lord turns his face against those who do evil; he will erase their memory from the earth. 17 The Lord hears his people when they call to him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles. 18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed. —Psalm 34:15-18 – 15

Sin is the venom of a snake-bitten world. Trauma is the wound. Jesus is the antidote.

He personally carried our sins in his body on the cross so that we can be dead to sin and live for what is right. By his wounds you are healed. —1 Peter 2:24

Takeaway: “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” – John 16:33

Questions:

1.When you consider the traumatic experiences in your life, what/who has helped (or is now helping) you to heal?

2.What has NOT helped? And how can this inform future responses to traumatic occurrences – to yourself and others?

3.Is there unhealed trauma (wounds) adversely affecting your life and relationships? What step(s) will you take this week toward healing, wholeness, and freedom?