PRAYER
Eternal God, we thank you for your presence in our lives. We especially thank you this day for the holy one, Jesus Christ. We thank you for Christ’s example of humility. We thank you for Christ’s many reminders to love one another. But we confess that we have difficulty following Christ’s command to love.
We can become upset with others and find it easier to reject them than to seek to understand and love them.
We can struggle with the almost impossible command to love our enemies.
We can become driven to meet our own needs and become blind to the needs of others.
We are driven to succeed, which can become all-consuming and trump our command to love.
Forgive us our foolish ways. Help us to keep in our awareness this command to love, which Jesus repeated so many times. Help us especially to hear it in those hard times when it is most difficult to love.
Help us to love others when they are power-hungry.
Help us to love others when they are inconsiderate.
Help us to love others when they are angry and lash out blindly.
Help us to love others when they are selfish and insensitive.
Help us, O God, to love others so that we may abide in your love and act like the friends of Jesus. Amen.
SERMON
Mark 3:20-21 (NRSV)
Then he went home, and the crowd came together again so that they could not even eat. When his family heard it, they went out to restrain him, for people were saying, “He has gone out of his mind.”
“The family drama may look and sound different from generation to generation, but all toxic patterns are remarkably similar in their outcome: pain and suffering.” —Susan Forward, Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life
Five common types of difficult people:
1. The Persistent Critic: nitpicks, uses sarcasm, has unrealistic expectations, and loves fault finding
2. The Skilled Manipulator: uses flattery and gossip and causes divisions
3. The Space Invader: disrespects boundaries: physical, psychological, or emotional
4. The Benevolent Intimidator: offers gifts but then expects absolute loyalty
5. The Irresponsible Abdicator: lacks the courage to stand up to the chief bully and then joins in on the bullying
“What is our task in this world as children of God and brothers and sisters of Jesus? Our task is reconciliation. Wherever we go, we see divisions among people—in families, communities, cities, countries, and continents. All these divisions are tragic reflections of our separation from God. The truth that all people belong together as members of one family under God is seldom visible. Our sacred task is to reveal that truth in the reality of everyday life. Why is that our task? Because God sent Jesus to reconcile us with God and to give us the task of reconciling people with one another. As people reconciled with God through Jesus, we have been given the ministry of reconciliation (see 2 Corinthians 5:18). So whatever we do, the main question is, “Does it lead to reconciliation among people?” —Henri J.M. Nouwen, Bread for the Journey: A Daybook of Wisdom and Faith
POINT: We demonstrate our
2 Corinthians 5:20 NRSV - So we are ambassadors for Christ since God is making his appeal through us; we entreat you on behalf of Christ: be reconciled to God.
2 Corinthians 5:16-19 NRSV
From now on, therefore, we regard no one from a human point of view; even though we once knew Christ from a human point of view, we no longer know him in that way. So if anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation: everything old has passed away; look, new things have come into being! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and has given us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ, God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting the message of reconciliation to us.
POINT: Love is not always
James 1:19-20 NRSV - You must understand this, my beloved brothers and sisters: let everyone be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger, for human anger does not produce God’s righteousness.
What can be done with difficult family members on the path to reconciliation?
- Find the
- Choose to find the
- Figure out what they can and cannot
- Know that without doubt or reservation, you can do nothing to
Romans 12:14-18 NRSV
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another; do not be arrogant, but associate with the lowly; do not claim to be wiser than you are. Do not repay anyone evil for evil but take thought for what is noble in the sight of all. If it is possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.