30 Day Marriage Devotional - Back to Eden
FLLLLAGGG!
Part of Back to Eden - A 30 Day Marriage Devotional—Day 1 - 30
May 23, 2022

Wednesday, MAY 25, 2022

Day 24

FLLLLLLAGGG!

I recently had a conversation with a dear friend the other day about marriages and she shared with me an agreement she made with her husband earlier in their marriage when they realized that the majority of their marital conflict came from a very small select grouping of issues.

The practice of quelling said conflicts long before they became untenable required a few things

  1. Awareness of triggers - they realized that the problem was not necessarily the problem. After time spent peeling back the layers through open and vulnerable conversations, they acknowledged what triggered actions or reactions that spurred on conflicts

  1. Respect - in some instances, it felt like it was no way this person (their spouse) could feel that perturbed about something as simple as this. Respecting that people have different backgrounds, experiences and cultures assures that each person needs space to feel how they feel and boundaries are not crossed to defile that.

  1. Grace - They learned that in respecting what they do not always understand about their beloved requires a grace both to give and receive. Giving in that clarity and change comes over time, being patient when your partner makes mistakes as you are learning from each other and becoming one. Receiving grace is equally important because we have to be self aware of how we need to change to make the union even better. Change happens over time and with intention.

Of course I pressed my friend as to how they got through the time of conflict. She told me of their red flag system developed through safe words. Both she and her husband would weave their individual safe words in group conversation in a way that would alert each other that their actions or the present scenario was triggering a vulnerability.

This gave opportunity to distance themselves from the triggers, reset and recalibrate all while unsuspecting in present company.

How brilliant a solution to Killing the Snakes of recurring conflict that could breed contempt in their marriage.

Prayer

Father God we thank you that you are a God that provides a way of escape when the temptation to move in anger against our spouse surfaces. Continue to give us divine wisdom and understanding as we seek to serve each other in marriage and help us to extend grace to each other as we accept grace from you. We are grateful for your ultimate display of love towards us and may we be conduits of said love to each other. In Jesus Name we Pray.

Reflection:

  1. Identify the top conflicts in your marriage and see if you can figure out the triggers that set them off. This can be done between the two of you, but do not be afraid or ashamed to seek counsel and or a mediator

  2. Develop your own personal safe words and reset moments should triggers happen in public or private.

  3. Extend Grace to your beloved as they work through this process.