The Tragedy of a Wounded Spirit
Pastor David Shatwell | Okema, Oklahoma
The spirit of a man will sustain his infirmity; but a wounded spirit who can bear? — Proverbs 18:14
A wounded spirit is one of the worst things that can happen to any of us spiritually. A wounded spirit comes in many forms. It can come from vocal, physical, or even mental events that take place in a person’s life. All to often we are unable as human being incapable of moving past being told by parents or loved ones that we are worthless and not good for anything.
Some times we get a wounded spirit from things like rape, molestation, slander, gossip, lies, and other things that cause us great grief. Sometimes we even wound our own spirits by not doing what we know we should be doing spiritually and then living with regret for the rest of our days. So what do we do about it?
The Four Steps to Forgiveness
It should be noted that these steps should be done in order, and not just read through to the end, but actually read and do each step as they come, and then move on to the next step. However, it should be noted that this will for most people be something that will be painful and very difficult to do, but it will work to set them free because it is Biblical.
STEP ONE.
STEP ONE is going before Jesus’ throne while in prayer and describing your hurts in detail. Describe what event took place, and what was said, and or done. This can be especially painful especially when abuse is involved, but explaining to Jesus what this person or these people did is vital. Remember He is our Father and we can trust Him with our hurts and pains. In fact it is the Lord’s will that we be set free.
STEP TWO.
As the hurts are accounted for and described in detail STEP TWO is forgiving and releasing the person for the thing that was done. Literally take your hand(s)and reach for your heart (figuratively) and grab the pain out take and release it calling their name. It is important to remember that in order to be forgiven we must first forgive.
For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. — Matthew 6:14-15
It is also important to remember that while Jesus was on the cross He said the following,
Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots. — Luke 23:34
We must forgive! This is not an option. Just as we seek God’s forgiveness we must also grant this to other’s. Another example of this is as follows, It is vitally important that verse 35 is especially paid attention to do not miss this or the whole thing will be missed.
21 Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?
22 Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.
23 Therefore is the kingdom of heaven likened unto a certain king, which would take account of his servants.
24 And when he had begun to reckon, one was brought unto him, which owed him ten thousand talents.
25 But forasmuch as he had not to pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, and his wife, and children, and all that he had, and payment to be made.
26 The servant therefore fell down, and worshipped him, saying, Lord, have patience with me, and I will pay thee all.
27 Then the lord of that servant was moved with compassion, and loosed him, and forgave him the debt.
28 But the same servant went out, and found one of his fellowservants, which owed him an hundred pence: and he laid hands on him, and took him by the throat, saying, Pay me that thou owest.
29 And his fellowservant fell down at his feet, and besought him, saying, Have patience with me, and I will pay thee all.
30 And he would not: but went and cast him into prison, till he should pay the debt.
31 So when his fellowservants saw what was done, they were very sorry, and came and told unto their lord all that was done.
32 Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me:
33 Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee?
34 And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him.
35 So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses. — Matthew 18:21-35
So exactly how important is it to forgive others? We must ask ourselves that question. Matthew 18:21-35 is the only place in all of scripture where it can be found that sins can be placed back on a person who refuses to forgive another.
Everyone no matter how great or small they are has sinned against God. We can in our rationality decide our sins are not as bad as others. We compare wealth, and health, and even sin. We must forgive as we desire to be forgiven - we must desire equally to forgive those who wrong us. It doesn’t mean what the person did right - it just means we have chosen to obey and trust God.
An example how to use steps one and two would be as follows. Lord Jesus I stand before you and I bring the awful thing that was done to me. God it was not fair that my father told me he hated me and that I was worthless. God I ache everyday from what was told to me. God I forgive and release my dad for the things he did and said to me. (Remember to reach and grab the pain from your heart and release as it is spoken out). You can do it! God will strengthen you as you forgive.
STEP THREE
STEP THREE - is to forgive and release yourself. Many times when abuse happens or we make mistakes we hold it against ourselves. We are the hardest and most critical on ourselves. Then we place blame on ourselves as well as others. In many cases these feelings of resentment are stronger and more damaging and controlling than what others have done to us.
Many times people will name things off that they cannot forgive themselves of. These feelings are not insignificant, especially if they hold the person hostage. Often it was not being able to convey something to a loved one and that they cannot get over not being able to ever make that right. Do you believe God can forgive you? Do you believe God wants to forgive you? Yes, and Yes!
“Why should God forgive us when we refuse to forgive ourselves?” You see God wants to forgive us, but all too often we refuse this. Failing to forgive ourselves is excluded in the forgiveness process. The scripture says, “everyone.” This includes me forgiving myself and letting go of regret. Regret is just another way of saying, I don’t forgive myself.
To finish step three, go through the things that bind you and hold you back from moving forward, name them in detail to Jesus, and then forgive and release yourself from any future regret.
Remember..
But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. — Isaiah 53:5
The stripes of Jesus are for healing. This means all forms of healing. God wants us as believer’s to be free from the pain.
STEP FOUR
This is going to be the hardest for most people. In general most people are born good. Yes, we have a sin nature, and yes we are all born into sin, but for the most part people are not born with the intentions of hurting others. We all want and desire love and nurturing. We all want affirmation and to be needed. But sometimes things happen. Maybe it is a young girl whose innocence is stolen by a trusted family member, or a child who loses a parent or a pet. Maybe it is a parent who loses a child. Then there are also the affects of war or major tragedies in general.
Many people believe - If a loving God existed then these things would not have happened. It all stems from disappointment. Bitterness towards God, and dealing with reality of the ugliness in a world filled with humans that are living with a fallen nature.
STEP FOUR - is forgiving and releasing God. You might be thinking, “but God is perfect and cannot sin.” This is true, but we can resent and be angry at God for what has transpired in our lives.
Here’s an example: Lord I am angry, hurt, dissapointed, in the loss of my loved one. God I am angry that you took my loved one from me. God from this moment on I forgive and release you from any bitterness and resentment I feel in my heart for what has happened. Please likewise forgive me and help me.
These are all critical steps for healing a wounded spirit. This may be something that needs to be done more than once. More importantly as things surface from our past we can go through this again until it is gone. Let’s share this with others, help one another and walk this journey together.
Forgiveness will set you free!
Video Message from Pastor David Shatwell - Okemah UPC
Here is the link to their website: Okemah, OK United Pentecostal Church - Tragedy of a Wounded Spirit