1. We are called to bring peace to our relationships.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God. —Matthew 5:9
You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ 39 But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. 40 And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. —Matthew 5:38-40
2. True relational peace can require conflict.
Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. 35 For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. 36 And a person’s enemies will be those of his own household. —Matthew 10:34-36
But some men came down from Judea and were teaching the brothers, “Unless you are circumcised according to the custom of Moses, you cannot be saved.” 2 And after Paul and Barnabas had no small dissension and debate with them, Paul and Barnabas and some of the others were appointed to go up to Jerusalem to the apostles and the elders about this question. —Acts 15:1-2
Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and give no opportunity to the devil. —Ephesians 4:26-27
3. Relational peace is undermined when we “fight dirty.”
Default Conflict Response: ATTACK! (“I become aggressive and dig in.”)
1. Criticizing
2. “Always… Never…”
3. Lecturing
4. Name-Calling
5. Shouting/Cursing
6. Threatening
Default Conflict Response: RETREAT! (“I become passive and seek escape.”)
1. Shutting Down
2. Silent Treatment
3. Walking Away
4. Sarcasm
5. Passive Aggression
6. Lying